Review: Batman v Superman – (Truly! Not as bad as what the critics make it out!)

Review: Batman v Superman


OK!  I’m not a Zack Synder fan, here is in the same group as Quentin Tarantino.  Which is 1 out of 5 movies I will enjoy so I torture myself 4 times to find the entertaining 5th.  I truly dislike his hyper-stylistic flow.  There we go, we got my disclaimer out-of-the-way.

TLTR: It was better than the first.  If you like MAN OF STEEL, you will 100% love Bat vs Sup.

Let’s Start First with Man of Steel:

I wasn’t impressed with Man of Steel.  There are probably hundreds of essays out there comparing Superman to Christ and this movie decide it need to bash its American audience with religious allegory which rubbed me the wrong way.  There was a hundred things that just grated on me but honestly, it was not a bad movie.  Exploring Krypton I thought was beautifully done.  I was glad it wasn’t a Lex Luthor fest of bad goons kind of story.  BUT was Man of Steel well done layered story telling?  Nope, pretty much “What you see, is what you get” (YES, I used a cliche to describe a cliche story.  Leave me along, I haven’t had enough caffeine today.)


There isn’t any cute subplots to beef up the story.  I think, looking back at it now years later, the aptly named the movie Man of Steel instead of SUPERMAN BEGINS.  WHY?  Because this story is 90% Clark Kent finding his way through the world and to his fate of Superman.  A hero’s journey and truly, it plays through all those beats perfectly.   As much as I say I hate Man of Steel, I don’t really.  I dislike the director, his approach, style and probably most of the actor choices.  But the actually story elements and what plays out I don’t hate.  I tolerate and appreciate it for what it is.  Henry Cavill sure is pretty and looks the part, but his facial expressions range from “I gotta go poop” and “my undies are riding up, they should be put on the outside.”   Not that I had a problem with the suit change either, just saying pretty face, but the expressions reminded me of the Thinking Man statue, one-dimensional must poop.

NOW, on to Batman V Superman:

I had friends watch the move before me.  I asked them what their favourite part was.  Surprisingly, they all said the same thing, that Wonder Woman was the best part of the film.  This excited me, as I loved watching re-runs of Wonder Woman as a kid but was afraid when they choose an actress who was… well hell, no PC way to of putting it; I believed didn’t have an ounce of fat and little muscle on her.  When 6 of my nerd buddies agree on something, then it must be correct.  Yet I still waited.  I watched Rotten Tomatoes rank BVS below Daredevil.  I waited.  I heard people rehashing “Superman doesn’t kill things!  And Batman doesn’t use guns!”

I really didn’t hold my opinion high when I heard Batman was going to be played by Ben Affleck. Or Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luther.  Or Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. I finally broke and watched it in 3D.

Ok, so opening the movie up with a dream sequences probably not the wisest of story telling.  Especially abusing your audience with magic flying boy that isn’t superman.  BUT whats worse is midway through you DO IT AGAIN.  There is implication that the dream sequences midway through isn’t a dream but a flash from the future.  WHAT really sucks, is you abused your audience in the first five minutes of the film so they will never take the warning from the future serious.  OOOOO…. /fake jazz hands  I’ve learnt something important from this; DON’T ABUSE YOUR AUDIENCES WITH DREAM SEQUENCES IN THE BEGINNING OF YOUR MOVIE (or at the end, serious just DON’T).  That sets the tone for the rest of your movie and we hates it.  Number one complaint I heard polling my friends “Just skip the beginning, first five minutes is rubbish.  Pretend you don’t see it.  Walk in late to the movie.”

Ben Affleck’s Batman is not nearly as annoying as Daredevil.  YAYA.  With that alone, I take back my early distrust of this casting choice.  Wonder Woman sold me too.  From mysterious patron to bad ass fighter, despite only having about 10 minutes of screen time, it was expertly woven into and throughout the story.  YES, my nerdy buddies were right, she was the best part of the movie.

What about Lex Luther?  You saw him being annoying in all the trailers.  You didn’t see a smooth talking aristocratic in those trailers did you?  I had hoped, his evil-genius would show better yet sadly that isn’t the case.  Lex is a ADHD kid that forgot to take his Ritalin.  He is a realistic, nerdy kid, that has a thousand things running through his mind and mutters and stutters and is ANNOYING AS FUCK.  Seriously, he ranks on the same level as Lois.   I get you have to change Lex to match the new Superman world set up – but he is no longer a foil to Superman.  Can’t even say he is a foil to Batman.  He isn’t smooth.  There is no elegance about super villain Lex.  It is a shame as an elegant Lex is entertaining; watch this:

RIGHT, speaking of annoying characters: LOIS.  She had to be saved four or so times.  Two in the most stupidest ways.  It literally felt like she was shoe-horned into the story despite being “the” critical incident in a few of the key scenes.  She’s a walking talking McGuffin.  Which is shame, because there is so much more they could have done with Lois – like maybe have her talk to another “woman”.  A lot of people are probably going to disagree with me, but it was how I felt.

Now I got that all out-of-the-way; the movie is good folks.  Not super-duper awesome.  Not mind-blowing.  But good enough to be entertaining.  AND it did what all sequels should always do; they improved on the first.  Yes, I admit it was better than the first.